- My first name has only two syllables and is pronounced RA-MEEN — not ray-min or ra-men (the noodle dish).

- I also answer to Hey, You, or Dude — anything but noodlebrain.

- I’m cool with noodlebrain too, if you say it nicely.

- Don’t even bother with the last name. Odds are you’ll get tongue-tied and I don’t answer to Mr. Firoozye. That’s my dad.

- I write software, stories, and half-truths. This is a place to hold some, all, or none of them.

- Stop thinking about noodles. Pull up a chair and grab a beer.