This came through the mail recently. I’m not quite there yet age-wise, but still found it funny:

Advantages of approaching (or passing) your 50th birthday:

• Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run–anywhere.
• People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• You can eat dinner at 4 pm.
• You can live without sex but not your glasses.
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your eyes won’t get much worse.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
• You can’t remember who sent you this list.